Post by tenfurlongs on Feb 1, 2021 14:02:04 GMT -5
Paddy and Mike were walking down the road. Paddy asks “I haven’t seen Shawn lately, have you?" Mike replies, “Shawn saw a sign that said ‘Drink Canada Dry’. So he went!”
What do you call a bullet-proof Irishman? Rick O’Shea.
Pubs, the official sunblock of Ireland!
Two Irishmen are walking through the forest one day when they see a sign saying 'Tree fellers wanted, good pay.' One says to the other "Okay, you wait here and I'll nip back and fetch Mick."
One feller walked into a pub, sat beside his buddy and said "My wife is driving me to drink," his buddy said, "Why are you complaining? I have to walk here."
I met my wife when she was a whiskey maker in Dublin. I love her still.
An English man walks into a bar in Dublin. He steps up to an old fella in the bar and says “Which is the quickest way to Cork?” The old fella says, “Have you got a car or are you on foot?” Englishman says, “I’ve got a car”. The old Irishman says, “Well that will be the quickest way”.
Patrick O’Shea called his lawyer and asked, “Is it true they are suin’ dem der cigarette companies for causin’ people to git cancer?” “Yes, Patrick, sure is true,” responded the lawyer. “And now someone is suin’ dem fast food restaurants for makin’ dem fat an’ cloggin’ their arteries with all dem der burgers an’ fries, is that true,?” “Sure is, Patrick.” “And that a lady sued McDonald’s for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?” “Yep.” “And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldn’t read?” “That’s right,” said the lawyer.“But why are you asking?” “Well, I was thinkin’ . . . What I want to know is, can I sue Guinness for all dem ugly women It made me sleep with.